Good Morning Glory
by ani05tersrVIP
Summary: The YGO cast's lives have always been different but... well, from a midget's perspective waking up in bed with a gorgeous woman is NORMALLY a good thing. Almost as dodgy as it sounds.
1. How come there's a limit on how many wor

Disclaimer: *Is pondering the meaning of life, why she couldn't write until just recently and the purpose of the funky green goo on the inside of the toilet bowl* Err. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Why would anyone think that in the first place?  
  
This is my first YGO fic and I must warn you, it will get a little strange.  
  
"Speech"  
  
-Thoughts-  
  
~Conscience/Yami~ (They're basically the same thing in my opinion)  
  
[Author's notes]  
  
---~1~---  
  
Deep in the heart of the Japanese city known as Domino (Home to many famous persons such as Seto Kaiba, Maximillion Pegasus and that insanely laughing red-head who is always being chased by men in white coats) there existed an entity with a remarkable destiny in store for him. There would be days when he would be known as Master, bathe with a beautiful woman, defeat the world champion chess player (In a game of paper, scissors, rock) and grow to the monstrous height of five feet and 2 inches!!!  
  
Yes, that entity is Yugi Moto.  
  
The sixteen year old high school student was in his bed which was in his room which was in his house/grandfather's game shop which was, as you may have noticed (And if you haven't then spare yourself the pain of exams and skip to jumping off the cliff now), in Domino city.  
  
His room contained all the necessities for a boy of his age; a permanently unmade bed, a desk meant to be used for homework - also known as a junk deposit box, a 'secret' stash of dirty magazines (In his junk deposit box), a broken cd player, a few decorations from last Christmas that he forgot to take down and probably won't until after the approaching Christmas and, of course, a three dimensional gold puzzle in the shape of an upside-down pyramid on a chain.  
  
I should tell you that Yugi also has something in his room that most teenage boys would LOVE to have; a gorgeous long-legged blonde woman with a perky disposition and skimpy clothing.  
  
Unfortunately she lives in the picture on a card. or at least she did until midnight when she snuck through a door into his room in full flesh and blood. At present she is sleeping next to his adorably curled up little form.  
  
Yugi is about to have a very interesting day, starting now.  
  
---~1~---  
  
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I am so evil!!!  
  
I must also warn you that this story will most likely get very dodgy. screw that; it WILL get very VERY dodgy!  
  
Oh and this is only the epilogue, I'm working on the first chapter now, it's going to be much longer. 


	2. The Obvious Stater: Too many dubs

Yay to all those who knew it was the Dark Magician Girl!!! *Glares at Flamer* Unbelievable, I only posted the teaser and I've already been yelled at and called a bad writer (*sniff* I like Mai with Joey too.). *Pouts* And no, I'm not going to name you, *Narrows eyes and lowers voice* you aren't worth it!  
  
Anyhow, before I get started I'd like to thank all the reviewers for reviewing and giving me tips (Even the Flamer) and just because Artemis of the Moon asked me to inject a little more Kaiba I will. but I doubt it'll be what you expect *sweatdrops*.  
  
Disclaimer: *Is laughing her ass off* Did you guys know that when you type Kaiba into Microsoft Word the second option for spell correction of his name is Labia! *Ahem* Ah, yes, all normal disclaimers apply even the ones that don't. *Snorts* Labia!  
  
Oh and I only remembered about the epilogue/prologue thing after I posted the teaser, I can be very forgetful when it comes to terminology. By the way, how did you guys see that I'd called it Epilogue, it was the only chapter, right?  
  
NOTE: I fixed this chapter up a little bit because when I re-read it I realized the abundance of author's notes got irritating so I cut some out and fixed a few spelling mistakes. I also forgot to thank the reviewers for pointing out the prologue/epilogue issue! XP, thanks guys, it's nice to know you're looking out for me! *Wipes away a tear*  
  
(My sarcastic notes)  
  
'Yami talking in spirit form'  
  
Another note: For all you shonen-ai lovers out there, there are no gay characters in this story though one of the (Extremely ooc) characters is a bit too friendly with everyone in general, can anyone guess who it is?  
  
Now on with the first REAL chapter!  
  
---~2~---  
  
Yugi mumbled and smiled softly in his sleep before rolling over and coming face to face with what appeared to be the Dark Magician Girl. He stared at her groggily for a moment, trying to figure out who she was and then began to look as confused as a blonde in a sale at a bookstore (HAHAHA! Suck Marik ass Shonni!). He pinched himself, checked to make sure he was still a midget and that he was wearing ducky pajamas. Seeing all of the current coincided with reality he came to the conclusion that it was a very elaborate and weird fantasy.  
  
He leaned in and examined the Dark Magician Girl closely. It was definitely her; blonde hair, long legs, very small clothing and very big-  
  
His train of thought was rudely (*Snort* Like Yugi can talk, his eyes were doing naughty things) interrupted by her eyes snapping open.  
  
He gazed into the emerald orbs as they seemed to smile at the site of his deep violet depths (I'm thpethial!). She reached out a pale creamy finger to trail it down his cheek. She then closed her eyes, her smile brightening as she made her move.  
  
"MASTER!" She cried giddily as she literally threw her self at Yugi, wrapped herself around him and sent them both flying off the bed and crashing onto the pile of wrappers, clothes and random nameless stuff that is there for no reason other than to serve as a floor.  
  
~Aibou? What's going on?~ Yugi choked out a strained cry of help.  
  
~What was that?~  
  
"Help!" he squeaked as loud as he could. Note that the key word in this sentence is squeaked, it implies that the noise emitted from his mouth was a brief, high and shrill sound like that of an un-oiled wheel or a very small animal or a young boy on helium.  
  
~Aibou, I can't understand a word you're saying, it sounds like you're being strangled.~  
  
"Yami!" he managed just loud enough that it was audible.  
  
~Hold on, I'm coming out!~ (Of the closet! HAHAHAHA!), Yami materialized in spirit next to Yugi and the Dark Magician Girl. He raised an eyebrow and voiced his opinion to the only human that could hear him in his current state.  
  
'Blue really isn't a good colour for your skin, Aibou.'  
  
"YAMI! HELP!"  
  
'Since when would you complain about a beautiful woman lying on top of you?'  
  
"SINCE SHE HAPPENS TO BE STRANGLING ME!!!" Consciousness slapped Yami's mind, called it a bastard and stormed out but not before alerting him to the severity of the current situation.  
  
'I have the ideal. err, idea to defeat (?) the Dark Magician Girl!' Yugi looked at his friend pleadingly, praying that this wouldn't involve any electrical appliances, Yami had already cost him an arm and a leg in money or more to the point; way too many booster packs (It's unhealthy to spend too much of your time doing the same thing *Settles into the dent in the couch and turns on the first of the five videos she rented today*).  
  
'Tickle her!' Yugi wanted to turn the Dark Magician Girl on Yami but first he had to figure out a way to detach her questionable wandering hands from his waist. Letting out a small sigh of frustration, he reluctantly lifted his hands to the side of her bodice-fashioned dress.  
  
She began to giggle incessantly and released her hold on Yugi. As she hunched on the floor (AKA - Junk heap) laughing he stared in disbelief.  
  
"I can't believe that worked!" he mumbled as he stumbled to his feet. Yami grinned like the Cheshire cat (You know the one from the Disney version, not the real one because as cool as Whoopi Goldberg is, no human could have a smile this broad), 'When will you learn that all my ideas are good, after all, I am a genius!' spouted the arrogant pharaoh. Yugi snorted.  
  
"Yeah, that or someone upstairs really likes you." Yami pretended to be mad but despite his ego he was soon smiling at the minute boy's slowly developing wit.  
  
"How about I get changed and we go eat breaky?" Yugi suggested cheerily.  
  
'Err, Yugi. shouldn't we do something about her?' Yugi stared blankly at Yami (Dimwit, I rest it at that), unable to comprehend who 'her' was. After a few moments passed, Yugi's face turned beet red as he recalled the events of just a minute ago. He coughed and they both turned to look at her.  
  
Yami sighed, 'Well, maybe you can get dressed in the bathroom,' he suggested.  
  
"Good idea Yami, just let me get my clothes!" Yugi began to climb over the heap on his floor (How's that, a mess pile on top of another mess pile! Oh, believe me, it has been done, my family found spiders inside my toys when they cleaned the eight year old version of my room!). Upon reaching the top of the mound he straightened out and stood tall (*cough*) and while stabbing an imaginary flagpole into the double-layered floor a backdrop painted in a pattern similar to the Japanese flag flapped down behind him, giving the impression of a triumphant warrior. Unfortunately as he was doing all this something living in his 'mountain' decided that it was not cut out for this kind of demeaning work. It quit it's job and jumped out of the window (Though it was a substantial distance from the window no one saw it leave) and as it sped towards the end, the ground rushing to meet it fast it cried out to the cruel heavens to save it from the crueler world. It's prayers went unanswered as it was caught by a bush and flung onto the road where it was run over by a truck six times and left there to rot until the street cleaners decided to remove the seats from under their asses and do their job at which point it was sent to the city dump. There it was found and taken in by the local rat circus where it was displayed as a freak of nature. This circus eventually became a traveling crew and moved from dump to dump across the whole of Japan where he became known as the greatest freak of his kind because he was the only freak of his kind.  
  
But that's not really of any relevance to the story, the point is that with the resignation of the living thing Yugi came toppling down, invisible flag and all. After knocking over his trash can and tripping on several items he managed to grab a hold of the wardrobe handle and right himself. There he stood for what seemed an eternity, trying to regain his composure, pry the pieces of brain off the inner walls of his head and put it back together in a very disorderly fashion meaning the inside of Yugi's head was returned to it's normal state after a few minutes.  
  
"Why is your trash can empty when you have plenty to put in it Master?" the Dark Magician Girl inquired. Yami's eyebrows shot up past the top of his hair (Those of you who've ever seen a picture of Yami will be well aware what an achievement this is). 'Master?' Yugi blushed sheepishly and tugged lightly on the wardrobe door.  
  
A light tug was all it needed, after it had moved a short distance it flew the rest of the way and bashed against the wall. Of course Yugi didn't see any of this due to the small ball of brown fuzz that had clamped itself onto his face and the other numerous and varying creatures, all of which had attached themselves to Yugi and formed a small (In comparison to the mess) living mountain atop his fallen body.  
  
'It would appear they are from the closet' Yami informed his young partner. From deep underneath the growling, screeching, chirping, yelling, chattering pile of duel monsters Yugi refrained from screaming and tossed a simple yet stylish insult to his now repellant darker side.  
  
"No shit Sherlock."  
  
In another part of Domino City, as far as one could get from our beloved hobbit-sized hero without leaving the city, Seto Kaiba, CEO (What the HELL is a CEO?) of KaibaCorp, older brother of the adorable Mokuba, world champion chess player and owner of about a trillion gajjilion syillion phafillion (You get the point and if you don't, again, go jump off a cliff) dollars in property and green stuff (Marijuana! HAHAHA, Kaiba's a crack head!), was sipping coffee with his pinky raised-  
  
"I have not got my pinky raised you impotent [1] mad woman!"  
  
Shut up, you're breaking the fourth wall! Ahem, as I was saying.  
  
- as he awaited the arrival of one black-haired, blowjob height [2]-  
  
"WHAT THE HELL!!!"  
  
Didn't you hear me the first time?!  
  
- twelve year old. Seto-  
  
"Don't call me that!"  
  
You speak to me again and I'll tie you to a tree branch by you balls and leave you as a piñata for Rebecca!  
  
- Kaiba (!) rapped his fingers on the tabletop and jiggled his knee, all sure signs of stress, too much caffeine and sexual frustration.  
  
In the most bizarre and inexplicable act one could witness (Unless you're one of the author's friends in which case this sort of thing is regular behaviour), Kaiba then proceeded to slam his forehead into the table and mutter an admirable insult consisting of over forty cusswords and the much repeated words 'useless' and 'author'.  
  
One of the maids working for the Kaiba brothers, a young woman with long wavy blonde hair, a lightly tanned complexion and a somewhat fitting black and white outfit, chose that moment to stroll into the dining room twiddling a feather duster behind her back for no particular reason (Other than that it made her look like one of the those 'naughty maids' from elaborate porn movies). This particular maid had never been adverse to the idea of being intimate with the elder Kaiba brother, in fact, she'd have loved nothing more than to tie him down and (Excuse this next part, I'm gagging) ride him like a horsey, however, something told her that now was not the time. Perhaps it was that Kaiba was pounding the table with his fists in a way that gave the impression of a young girl throwing a hissy fit because her brother had stolen her toy (. I know nothing about any such incident as I am a perfectly well behaved up standing member of the community. *cracks up*).  
  
She quickly re-did the top few buttons of her clingy dress and carefully approached, asking for her employer's attention with his name.  
  
Now on some days Kaiba could be very mysterious and sexy, like when he went swimming and emerged from the pool soaked from head to toe wearing a pair of form-hugging swimming trunks. On other days he was down right scary and you got the feeling if you looked him in the eye he'd skin you and feed you to his Blue Eyes White Dragons. Lastly there were days that were a creepy combination of the two when you thought if you looked him in the eye he'd slap you around, tease the Blue Eyes White Dragons with you, go for a swim and then tie you down to his bed (Am I making anyone drool yet? No? Good!).  
  
Today was one of those other days.  
  
"WHAT?!" He roared, too wrapped up in his bad mood to be nice to the pain in the ass of a girl. She slunk back a few steps and cowered behind the feather duster, seemingly convinced that it would protect her from an extraordinarily strong teenager (She's a bright one, no?). She peeked through the feathers and followed her orders from the other employees, not looking him directly in the eye, she proceeded to sque- err, I mean speak!  
  
"M-master Kaiba, your younger brother is refusing to wake up."  
  
Ryou Bakura sighed and slurped (Can anyone else hear the music. I have a ssssssssssshloop! Noise running through my head again and again) his orange juice, which was falsely advertised because the name orange juice implies that it was made at least partially from oranges. However, this particular juice was made from sugar, water (Sugar flavoured) and artificial orange flavouring (Which has a very high content of sugar).-  
  
A side not = I'm eating a milky bar (DODGY NAME!) and I just drank a little red cream soda which DISSOLVED THE MILKY BAR!!! ACID SODA!!! Anyhow, back to the topic at hand.  
  
- As Bakura slurped his 'orange juice' his father ran around the apartment, randomly knocking over several expensive Egyptian artifacts and leaving a much more numerous amount of 'expensive' pieces on the floor for Bakura to re-glue for the thousandth time, though it made little to no difference - they were really worth about as much as fools' gold, not that Yami Bakura told that to any of the people he sold them to.  
  
He sighed and reached for his pancakes, if he had to watch his father destroy their apartment then at least he could pretend it was a morning cartoon since the bastards of Cheez TV had stopped airing his favourite show (YOU BASTARDS!!! HOW COULD YOU TAKE OFF YU-GI-OH!?!) and fill his stomach with some good old stale fattening chocolate-chip flapjacks (*Drooling*). With a few more trips and stumbles Mr Bakura staggered to the table and gave his only son (How unfortunate for them both.) a good hard thump on the shoulder, in turn causing Bakura to drop his precious source of sugar, which he needed to get through a day with an insane tomb raider (LARA CROFT!!!). Unaware of the pain he had just condemned his son to, the clueless Mr Bakura cheerfully announced his departure for England and made for the front door. However, just as he was about to close the door and leave his innocent cherubic son alone with a psychotic blood-thirsty ghost trapped in a ring (Nice move wise-ass), he turned to his son bearing a warning.  
  
"Be sure to lock everything up when you leave, I don't want to find that strange boy hiding out in our laundry again, he upsets George." A large bead of sweat ran down the back of Bakura's head as his father spouted a joyful cheerio and slammed the door shut which resulted in a priceless painting crashing to the ground with a loud smash.  
  
Bakura grumbled and slammed his forehead into the counter top. He had a gut feeling today would not be a good day. As he rose from his seat he found himself entangled in the chair legs and was sent crashing into the floor. There was a loud thud and Bakura instantly developed a royal pain in his noggin.  
  
Nope, it was definitely not going to be a good day.  
  
---~2~---  
  
Woohoo! It's a bit longer and I know tons of stuff that could've happened but I REALLY want to post it now.  
  
[1] - Impotent has several meanings. It means lacking strength, effectiveness or capability, however, it also means a male incapable of an erection. That would've been even more insulting if I were a dude.  
  
[2] - Sorry Mokuba, I love you to pieces but it's true, you speak to people's crotches. On that note, has anyone noticed how Yugi talks to Tea's chest?  
  
Next time: Yugi miraculously makes it to school on time without getting a nose bleed, Kaiba on the other hand doesn't due to his procrastinating younger brother and Bakura is already having a squatter problem, damn blonde! 


End file.
